Funny Groundhog Day Quotes and Sayings
Here is our list of the best quotes from Harold Ramis's supremely rewatchable comedy fantasy, and now one of the most copied story tropes, which follows cynical TV weatherman, Phil Connors (Bill Murray), who is sent to report on the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. However, he wakes up the next morning only to find himself trapped in a time loop, forcing him repeat the same day over and over.
'What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.' - Phil (Groundhog Day) Click To Tweet
Anchorwoman: Have fun in Punxsutawney, Phil.
Phil: For your information, Hairdo, there is a major network interested in me.
Larry: Yeah, that would be the Home Shopping Network.
Rita: I think it's a nice story. He comes out. He looks around. He wrinkles up his little nose. He sees his shadow, he doesn't see his shadow. It's nice. People like it.
Phil: You are new, aren't you? You know, people like blood sausage too. People are morons.
Rita: [moviequotesandmore.com] Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?
Phil: No, thank you. I've seen Larry eat.
Larry: [referring to Phil] Did he actually call himself "the talent"?
DJ 1: Okay, campers, rise and shine! And don't forget your booties, because it's cold out there!
DJ 2: It's cold out there every day! What is this, Miami Beach?
DJ 1: Not hardly! And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that blizzard thing.
DJ 2: Oh, that blizzard thing. That blizzard thing. Oh, well, here's the report. The National Weather Service is calling for a big blizzard thing.
DJ 1: Yes, they are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting.
DJ 2: Especially cold.
DJ 1: Especially cold, okay. But the big question on everybody's lips.
DJ 2: Their chapped lips.
DJ 1: On their chapped lips, right. Do you think Phil's going to come out and see his shadow?
DJ 2: Punxsutawney Phil!
DJ 1: That's right, woodchuck chuckers!
DJ 1, DJ 2: It's Groundhog Day!
Man in Hallway: You think it's going to be an early spring?
Phil: I'm predicting March 21st.
Man in Hallway: Oh. Good guess! You know, I think that actually is the first day of spring.
Mrs. Lancaster: Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors?
Phil: I slept alone, Mrs. Lancaster.
Phil: I don't suppose there's any possibility of getting an espresso or cappuccino this morning, is there?
Mrs. Lancaster: Oh, I really don't know…
Phil: [quietly to himself] How to spell espresso, or cappuccino.
Mrs. Lancaster: [moviequotesandmore.com] There's talk of a blizzard.
Phil: Well, we may catch a break and that blizzard's going to blow right by us. All of this moisture coming up out of the south by midday is probably going to push on to the east of us. And at high altitudes it's going to crystallize and give us what we call snow. Probably be some accumulation. But here in Punxsutawney, our high's going to get up to about thirty today, teens tonight. Chance of precipitation, about twenty percent today, twenty percent tomorrow. Did you want to talk about the weather, or were you just making chitchat?
Mrs. Lancaster: Chitchat.
Mrs. Lancaster: Oh, will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors?
Phil: Chance of departure today, one hundred percent.
Ned: Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me, because I sure as heckfire remember you.
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned! Ryerson! Needlenose Ned. Ned the Head. Come on, buddy. Case Western High! Ned Ryerson, I did the whistling-bellybutton trick at the high school talent show. Bing! Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year. Almost didn't graduate. Bing again! Ned Ryerson, I dated your sister, Mary Pat, a couple times till you told me not to anymore. Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson?
Ned: Bing!
Phil: So did you turn pro with that bellybutton thing, Ned, or what?
Ned: No, Phil. I sell insurance.
Phil: What a shock.
Ned: Do you have life insurance? Because if you do, you could always use a little more. Am I right, or am I right, or am I right? Right? Right? Right?
Phil: Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you. But I'm not going to. See you.
Ned: [moviequotesandmore.com] It is so good to see you! What are you doing for dinner?
Phil: Something else.
Rita: You're missing all the fun. These people are great! Some of them have been partying all night long. They sing songs till they get too cold, and then they go sit by the fire, and they get warm. And then they come back, and they sing some more.
Phil: Yeah. They're hicks, Rita.
Phil: Once a year, the eyes of the nation turn to this tiny hamlet in Western Pennsylvania to watch a master at work. The master? Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous weatherman. The groundhog. Who, as legend has it, can predict the coming of an early spring. So I guess the question we have to ask ourselves today is, "Does Phil feel lucky?"
Phil: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. I, for one, am very grateful to have been here. From Punxsutawney, this is Phil Connors. So long.
Rita: Okay, want to try it again without the sarcasm?
Phil: What is going on?
Larry: [sarcastically] I don't know, Phil. Perhaps it's that giant blizzard we're not supposed to get.
State Trooper: We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.
Phil: What blizzard? It's a couple of flakes.
State Trooper: Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.
Phil: I make the weather. All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is going to push off to the east and hit Altoona.
State Trooper: Pal, you got that moisture on your head. Now, you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It's your choice. So what's it going to be?
Phil: I'm thinking.
Phil: Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies, or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency. Can you patch me through on that line, please?
Rita: [moviequotesandmore.com] Going to the groundhog dinner?
Phil: No, I had groundhog for lunch. Wasn't bad. Tastes like chicken.
Man in Hallway: Morning! Off to see the groundhog?
Phil: Yeah.
Man in Hallway: Think it'll be an early spring?
Phil: Didn't we do this yesterday?
Man in Hallway: I don't know what you mean.
Phil: [grabs the man by his collar] Don't mess with me, Pork Chop!
Phil: Do you ever have deja vu, Mrs. Lancaster?
Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.
Mrs. Lancaster: Will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors?
Phil: I'd say the chance of departure is eighty percent. Seventy-five, eighty.
Phil: Rita, Do me a favor. I need someone to give me a good, hard slap in the face.
Rita: [slaps him] How's that?
Phil: Good.
Larry: If you need any help with the other cheek, let me know, I'm right here.
Rita: Are you drunk or something?
Phil: Drunk's more fun. Can I be serious with you for a minute?
Rita: I don't know, can you?
Phil: Yes, I'm being serious! I'm having a problem. I may be having a problem.
Phil: Rita, I'm reliving the same day over and over. Groundhog Day. Today.
Rita: Okay. I'm waiting for the punch line.
Phil: No. Really. This is the third time. It's like yesterday never happened!
Rita: I am racking my brain, but I can't even begin to imagine why you'd make up something like this.
Phil: I'm not making it up. I am asking you for help!
Psychiatrist: That's an unusual problem, Mr. Connors. Most of my work is with couples, families. I have an alcoholic now.
Phil: Well, you went to college, right? I mean, it wasn't veterinary psychology, was it? Didn't you take some kind of course that covered this stuff?
Psychiatrist: Yeah. Sort of, I guess. Abnormal psychology.
Phil: So, what do I do?
Psychiatrist: I think we should meet again. How's tomorrow for you?
[Phil puts a pillow over his face and starts punching it]
Psychiatrist: Is that not good?
Phil: I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster. Drank pina coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over, and over?
Gus: You know, some guys would look at this glass, and they would say, "That glass is half empty." Other guys would say, "That glass is half full." I peg you as a "glass is half empty" kind of guy. Am I right?
'What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?' - Phil (Groundhog Day) Click To Tweet
Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.
Phil: [moviequotesandmore.com] It's the same thing your whole life. "Clean up your room! Stand up straight! Pick up your feet! Take it like a man! Be nice to your sister! Don't mix beer and wine, ever!" Oh, yeah. "Don't drive on the railroad tracks!"
Gus: Well, Phil, that's one I happen to agree with.
Phil: [as they've been stopped by the police] Let me handle this. Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes, and one large Coke.
Ralph: And some flapjacks!
Phil: Too early for flapjacks?
Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring, in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
Rita: Don't you worry about cholesterol, lung cancer, love handles?
Phil: I don't worry about anything anymore.
Rita: What makes you so special? Everybody worries about something.
Phil: Well, that's exactly what makes me so special. I don't even have to floss.
Rita: The wretch, concentred all in self, living shall forfeit fair renown, and doubly dying shall go down, to the vile dust from whence he sprung. Unwept, unhonored, and unsung. Sir Walter Scott.
Rita: [as Phil laughs] What, you don't like poetry?
Phil: I love poetry! I just thought that was Willard Scott. I was confused.
Phil: You think I'm acting like this because I'm egocentric?
Rita: I know you're egocentric. It's your defining characteristic.
Nancy: [as Phil calls her Rita as they're making out] What is this, some kind of one-night stand?
Phil: On the contrary, Nancy. I love you. I've always loved you. This is going to seem sudden, but, Nancy, will you be my wife?
Nancy: Oh, Phil.
Phil: Rita.
Nancy: Nancy.
Phil: Whatever.
Phil: [moviequotesandmore.com] So what do you want out of life, anyway?
Rita: I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children.
Phil: Are you seeing anyone?
Rita: I think this is getting too personal. I don't think I'm ready to share this with you. How about you? What do you want?
Phil: What I really want is someone like you.
Rita: Oh, please.
Phil: Well, why not?
Phil: What are you looking for? Who's your perfect guy?
Rita: Well, first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect.
Phil: That's me.
Rita: He's intelligent, supportive, funny.
Phil: Intelligent, supportive, funny. Me, me, me.
Rita: He's romantic and courageous.
Phil: Me also.
Rita: He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.
Phil: I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking.
Rita: He's kind, sensitive, and gentle. He's not afraid to cry in front of me.
Phil: This is a man we're talking about, right?
Rita: [continuing to describe her perfect guy] He likes animals, children, and he'll change poopy diapers.
Phil: Does he have to use the word "poopy"?
Rita: Oh, and he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.
Phil: I am really close on this one. Really, really close.
Phil: Sweet vermouth, rocks, with a twist, please.
Bartender: For you, miss?
Rita: The same. That's my favorite drink.
Phil: Mine too. It always makes me think of Rome. The way the sun hits the buildings in the afternoon.
Rita: Ah. Well, what should we drink to?
Phil: To the groundhog!
Rita: I always drink to world peace.
Rita: Well, what should we drink to?
Phil: I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace.
Rita: There is something so familiar about this. Do you ever have deja vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?
Rita: Believe it or not, I studied 19th century French poetry.
Phil: What a waste of time! I mean, for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. So bold of you to choose that. It's incredible. You must be a very, very strong person.
Rita: I'm just amazed, and I'm not easily amazed.
Phil: About what?
Rita: How you can start a day with one kind of expectation, and end up so completely different.
Phil: Well, do you like the way this day is turning out?
Rita: I like it very much. It's a perfect day. You couldn't have planned a day like this.
Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.
Rita: [moviequotesandmore.com] Is this what love is for you?
Phil: No, this is real. This is love.
Rita: Stop saying that! You must be crazy. I could never love someone like you, Phil, because you'll never love anyone but yourself.
Phil: That's not true. I don't even like myself. Give me another chance.
Rita: [she slaps him] That's for making me care about you.
Phil: [as he's about to repeated another day] Okay, campers. Rise and shine. And don't forget your booties, because it's cold out there today. It's cold out there every day.
Phil: This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their b**ts off, waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites! All of you!
Phil: You know, you want a prediction about the weather? You're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction. It's going to be cold. It's going to be grey. And it's going to last you for the rest of your life.
Phil: Once again the eyes of the nation have turned here to this tiny village in Western Pennsylvania. Blah-blah-blah-blah. There is no way that this winter is ever going to end, as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
Larry: Real good, Phil. Real good.
Larry: [as Phil turns, to Rita] He's out of his gourd.
Rita: I'm worried. I think there's something really wrong with Phil.
Larry: Yeah, there's a lot of things really wrong with Phil.
Phil: I've come to the end of me, Rita. There's no way out now. I just want you to remember we had a beautiful day together once.
Rita: [after Phil kidnaps the groundhog] Why would anybody steal a groundhog?
Larry: I could probably think of a couple of reasons. Pervert.
Larry: [as Phil drives the truck off the cliff] He might be okay.
Larry: [as the truck explodes] Well, no. Probably not now.
'I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.' - Phil (Groundhog Day) Click To Tweet
Phil: I'm a god.
Rita: You're God?
Phil: I'm a god. I'm not the God, I don't think.
Rita: Because you survived a car wreck?
Phil: I didn't just survive a wreck. I wasn't just blown up yesterday. I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.
Rita: Oh, really?
Phil: Every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender. I am an immortal.
Rita: [to Phil] You're not a god. You can take my word for it. This is twelve years of Catholic school talking.
Rita: [moviequotesandmore.com] Is this some kind of trick?
Phil: Well, maybe the real God uses tricks. You know, maybe he's not omnipotent, he's just been around so long he knows everything.
Rita: What about me, Phil? Do you know me too?
Phil: I know all about you. You like producing, but you hope for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.
Rita: Well, everyone knows that.
Phil: You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock, and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children. And when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
Rita: How are you doing this?
Phil: I told you, I wake up every day right here. Right in Punxsutawney. And it's always February 2nd. And there's nothing I can do about it.
Rita: [referring to the card hat trick] It would take me a year to get good at this.
Phil: No, six months. Four to five hours a day, and you'd be an expert.
Rita: Is this what you do with eternity?
Phil: Now you know.
Phil: The worst part is that tomorrow you will have forgotten all about this, and you'll treat me like a jerk again.
Rita: No.
Phil: It's alright, I am a jerk.
Rita: No, you're not.
Phil: It doesn't make any difference. I've killed myself so many times, I don't even exist anymore.
Rita: Well, sometimes I wish I had a thousand lifetimes. I don't know, Phil. Maybe it's not a curse. It just depends on how you look at it.
Phil: Gosh, you're an upbeat lady!
Phil: [to Rita] It's alright. You can fall asleep. I promise I won't touch you. Much.
Phil: [as Rita is falling asleep] What I wanted to say was, I think you're the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. And the first time I saw you something happened to me. I never told you, but I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don't deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.
Phil: [moviequotesandmore.com] We never talk, Larry. Do you have kids?
Phil: Yes, I'd like a piano lesson, please.
Piano Teacher: Oh, okay. I'm with a student now. But if you want to come back tomorrow, I could probably…
Phil: Well, I kind of want to get started. I could give you a thousand dollars.
Piano Teacher: Come on in.
Man in Hallway: You think it's going to be an early spring?
Phil: Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on his smiling face, a dream of spring. Ciao
Piano Teacher: Not bad, Mr. Connors. You say this is your first lesson?
Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano mover, so.
Phil: [hugs Ned] I have missed you so much. I don't know where you're headed, but can you call in sick?
Ned: Uh, I got to get going. It's good to see you, Phil.
Phil: [referring to the old man] What did he die of?
Nurse: He was just old. It was just his time.
Nurse: Sometimes people just die.
Phil: Not today.
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak, and dark, and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney, and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. From Punxsutawney, it's Phil Connors. So long.
Rita: That was surprising. I didn't know you were so versatile.
Phil: I surprise myself sometimes.
Rita: Where are you going? Would you like to get a cup of coffee?
Phil: I'd love to. Can I have a rain check? I've got some errands I've got to run. Okay?
Rita: Phil? Errands? What errands? I thought we were going back.
Phil: [as he saves the boy in the tree] What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? You little brat. You have never thanked me! I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe.
Rita: [moviequotesandmore.com] Phil, I didn't know you could play like that.
Phil: Oh, I'm versatile.
Buster's Wife: [after she kisses him] I never thanked you properly for what you did for Buster. Well, he would've choked for sure.
Phil: Well, he may have. He was trying to swallow a whole cow.
Buster: I owe you one, buddy.
Buster's Wife: [to Rita] Hang on to him, dear. He's a real find.
Rita: What did you do today?
Phil: Oh, same old, same old.
Felix's Wife: Excuse me, Dr. Connors? I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
Rita: Dr. Connors?
Phil: It's kind of an honorary title.
Rita: There is something going on with you.
Phil: Would you like the long version, or the short one?
Rita: Let's start with the short and go from there.
Buster: [referring to Larry] Alright! Now, what am I bid for this guy? Do I hear a buck and a half? Anybody? Seventy-five cents?
Flat Tire Lady #2: I bid two bits!
Buster: Sold to the lady for twenty-five cents.
Flat Tire Lady #2: I got him!
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil: Mine too.
Rita: Mine too.
Ned: Oh. Where are we going?
Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it.
Ned: Let's not… Oh. I got that. Reow!
'No matter what happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now, because I love you.' - Phil (Groundhog Day) Click To Tweet
Rita: [as Phil is doing an ice sculpture of her] I'm getting cold. How much longer do I have to sit here?
Phil: I'm just trying to give you your money's worth. You paid top dollar for me.
Rita: Well, I think you were a bargain.
Phil: Sweet of you to say. You're probably right.
Rita: [referring to the ice sculpture of her face] It's amazing. It's beautiful. How did you do that?
Phil: I know your face so well, I could have done it with my eyes closed.
Rita: It's lovely. I don't know what to say.
Phil: I do. No matter what happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now, because I love you.
Rita: I think I'm happy too.
[they kiss]
Phil: [the next morning as he finds Rita lying in bed next to him] Something is different.
Rita: Good or bad?
Phil: Anything different is good. But this could be real good.
Phil: [moviequotesandmore.com] Why are you here?
Rita: I bought you. I own you.
Phil: But why are you still here?
Rita: You said, "Stay," so I stayed.
Phil: I said, "Stay," so you stayed. I can't even make a collie stay.
Phil: Do you know what today is?
Rita: No, what?
Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened. You're here.
Rita: I'm here.
Rita: [as he kisses her passionately] Oh, Phil. Why weren't you like this last night? You just fell asleep.
Phil: It was the end of a very long day. Is there anything I can do for you today?
Rita: I'm sure I can think of something.
Phil: It's so beautiful! Let's live here.
Phil: [he kisses Rita] We'll rent to start.
Source: https://www.moviequotesandmore.com/groundhog-day-quotes/
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